


Our Baby [2x19]

by falicewins



Series: Falice One Shots by falicewins [18]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Adoption, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, FP comforting Alice, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:41:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22616551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falicewins/pseuds/falicewins
Summary: What happened after the moment Alice told FP about having his baby in her teen years... the comfort and heart to heart talk we deserved!
Relationships: Alice Cooper/FP Jones II, Alice Cooper/Hal Cooper (mentioned)
Series: Falice One Shots by falicewins [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626064
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Our Baby [2x19]

''You don't understand what I've done, FP. You don't understand what I'm responsible for.'' Her voice was desperate and squeaky, as she tried to point out the biggest mistake she had ever made.

Why was this man not mad at her? Why wasn't he yelling? Did he even understand that she was the one that had driven their son into his death? She needed him to hate her as much as she was hating herself.

But against all her expectations he held her shoulders more firmly than before and pulled her closely to his chest. Of everything she thought he would do, this had never come up into her mind. But there she was, crying into the chest of the father of her first born after telling him what she had done. She wanted to say so much, but all she managed to do was sob quietly as he shushed her.

''It's okay, it's okay.'' She heard his soft voice telling her in a whisper. How could he say that? Things weren't okay, and it was all her fault.

All the mistakes she had made in her life came down to this moment where she finally had to confess that she was a mess, that she had screwed up and that both her son and FP were the victim of the decisions she made for the three of them when she was young.

Alice held onto him for dear life, as if she would end up in a never-ending fall if she would let go. Her nails dug through his flannel and t-shirt into his skin, making FP realize that this wasn't some nightmare he would wake up out very soon. This was reality.

The broken woman in his arms was real and her story was too. There were so many things going through his mind and so many emotions raging through his body. It was overwhelming in a way he had never experienced before and if he was honest with himself it was frightening him.

''I'm so, so, so sorry, FP.'' She cried quietly, her nails now leaving a serious mark on his back. Before he gently pulled her away, he nuzzled his head in her hair and took in her scent, giving himself another confirmation that he isn't hallucinating her.

When Alice faced him again, she looked at him with her mascara smudged all over her face and her eyes red and puffy from all the crying. Her head was pounding, and her vision was mostly blurry. Still, the look in his eyes was crystal clear to her.

All her life she had never seen him like this, which said so much about his state right now since they went through a lot together. He had never looked at her so scared, broken and confused like he was doing right now.

Not even after he had escaped to her when his Dad had used him has his target again, or when they played Gryphons and Gargoyle's and things got too serious. Maybe not even when his Dad had broken his wrist and took away his opportunity to go to college to be free of the Jones men curse. Everything he was feeling right now felt worse than all those things combined. He took a step backwards as he looked, fighting the urge to break down in tears and get out of the trailer. But there was one thing holding him back.

This was Alice he was talking about. This was the woman who stood in front of his trailer door just a couple of weeks ago, shirt buttoned open and her eyes full of lust. This was the Alice he buried a body for. This was the Alice he once let go. This was his Alice. Or at least, at some point she had been. Until everything fell apart and they turned into enemies who'd rather pretend to want to smash each other brains out than to face the too painful emotions that were buried deep down.

She had never looked at him with so much pain and guilt in her eyes that it was almost hard to recognize this side of her. Still, in her eyes there would always be that one thing, that one little spark that reminded me of the girl she used to be. It was the spark that made her human and vulnerable. Even when it was almost extinguished, he could still see it.

''Why aren't you saying anything? Be furious with me, yell at me, hate me, send me away and tell me that I screwed up.'' Her voice cracked and got louder with the second as her hand was gesturing to herself, hitting her own chest a little too hard that it hurt. But she didn't mind the pain. She deserved the pain.

Her words went as a knife through his heart as he heard what she thought she deserved. He felt anger, he felt sadness and an ongoing pain that he didn't even knew he could feel, but he would never out that to her, especially not in the state she was in right now.

It hit him that maybe she had got used to that. Maybe people yelled at her when she screwed up. Maybe that was the way she and Hal communicated in a fight. It just wasn't how he wanted this conversation to go. He was sure that if he did all those things she suggested that he would take away the last piece of the spark in her eyes and break her for good.

His hands had found their way to her shoulders for the third time since she had walked into his trailer and he gazed into her eyes as his own tears were about to fall. Still, his first priority was calming her down before they were even ready to have a conversation about this.

He pushed her towards the couch as he walked with her, putting her down on the old furniture. She let him take control, as her face turned a little softer once she felt that he wasn't going to yell at her. Alice sniffed her nose and nervously played with her nails before she dug them into her skin. Her knuckles turned white when all her anger, fear and pain collected itself into her hand, hurting her own palms while doing so.

FP sat down beside her and noticed how she nervously wobbled and shivered, as sbe watched his every move, afraid of what was yet to come. His hands slowly gestured for her hands as he didn't want to make a sudden move and scare her away.

A spark of electricity shot through her body the moment his fingers touched hers and slowly unfolded her clenched fists. Her hands relaxed under his touch and his fingers barely grazed the new wounds on her fingers.

''We have a son? I mean—'' He stuttered and cut himself off once he heard himself talking in the present. His hands shook as wave of nausea hit him.

He couldn't put his finger on what he was feeling. It was the euphoria of someone telling you that you put another kid on the world, like your baby boy was just born, while at the same time someone just dropped the bomb that your son had passed away. And the irony of it all was that he had no clue that either of those things happened.

''We had a son named Charles?'' He finally spoke out, looking up from her hands and meeting her eyes who looked calmer than before. His voice was soft and betrayed the insecurity that he felt deep into his core.

All she could do was give him a slight nod, her eyes getting glossy again after she had just stopped crying. She heard the deep pain he was feeling and couldn't fight the urge to clench her fist once again, opening the fresh wounds that had just started to appear.

His pain was her fault and she dug her nails into her palm as if she could take it away. FP carefully grabbed both her hands, stopping her from hurting herself any further. His thumb stroke her knuckles and he saw her shoulders relax just a little bit.

''Alice... What happened?'' He whispered quietly. It was an open question that could be answered in a thousand ways, but she knew what he was asking for. It was the whole story, including their past and the explanations why she had chosen a certain path.

''You remember how close we were when we were playing Gryphons and Gargoyles?'' She asked him hopefully, almost too afraid to ask him as she feared his answer.

He nodded and squeezed her hands assuringly. Of course he remembered. She was the only thing, the only one, that had kept him sane all those years, but he had been too much of a coward to actually say that out loud to her.

''That's when I got pregnant. I tried to tell you—I tried to talk to you, but you blew me off. And I knew I just couldn't do it alone.'' Her voice was high and squeaky and her grip on his hands grew stronger as she talked.

His heart broke once he heard that there had been a moment where she tried to tell him, but that he was busy doing something else. He was young and stupid and most of all afraid of his feelings and now it hadn't only costed him her, but it had costed him his son.

''Then the Midnight Club drifted apart—We drifted apart. All I knew was that if I wasn't going to do this with you, I still needed to try to give him the best life possible.'' She was fighting to keep herself together but the more tears she saw appearing in his eyes, the more difficult it was. She freed one hand from his grip and wiped away her tears and mascara, before she looked back at him.

''That's when Hal came into my life. He was my ticket out, FP. He could give our baby a better life than I could ever do on my own.'' There rolled a tear down his cheek as she spoke, hearing that she had chosen Hal to raise her son with after he screwed up.

He had driven her into his arms, he made her live the lie she had been stuck in for over twenty years. FP broke his gaze from hers and stared down at the floor, trying to fight his tears but it had been a lost battle from the start. Even when he wasn't looking at her, his hands were squeezing hers as his eyes were closed.

He sobbed inaudible as he let his tears flow, unable to get himself to look into her eyes. He had never cried in front of her before. FP Jones didn't cry, no matter what. Don't be so weak boy. You are a Jones and Jones men don't cry. His father's voice echoed through his mind. It was the last time he'd ever shed a tear.

''He convinced me that giving him up for adoption would be the best thing for our baby—He said it was the best thing for everyone. Even he if he thought he was giving up one of his own. I wasn't ready, FP.'' She pleaded hopelessly, hoping for him to understand just a little bit of her story, but knowing that he had no reason to. Hearing her say her own words made her realize how ridiculous it sounded that she let him manipulate her, but at that time she just didn't know any better. 

If she had been in his shoes she had probably sent herself away and let her drown in her own tears. But he was still holding onto her hands the same way she was holding onto his: as if they were afraid to let go, afraid to lose it all over again.

''Is that what he made you believe? That you weren't ready?'' He looked back at her, the hint of anger in his voice was more noticeable now and she could see the fire growing in his eyes. 

He shifted on the couch and for a moment which made her think he was going to leave and find Hal, but luckily he didn't because she held onto his flannel and tugged on it a little. FP was way too aware of her grabbing onto him, but it was barely enough for keeping him in this trailer. 

His anger was overshadowed though by his hurt of how the woman in front of him had kept this for him for so long, especially after all the things had done for her lately. Shouldn't she have come to him the moment she thought she had her son back? Did she not trust him enough? Did she still think he wasn't worth it?

''Did you doubt me? Did you think I was a screw up just like my dad, like you told me?'' His voice trembled as he asked her the question he was afraid to get an answer to, but he needed to know. 

Maybe it was all because he wasn't good enough to be the father of her child, that he was a broke Southsider and that it was easier to escape with someone like Hal Cooper purely because he couldn't give her the fantasy of the rich happy little family.

The hand that was holding his flannel now wrapped around it more firmly, gripping it into her hand as she looked straight into his eyes. 

''No—No, FP. I said that because I wanted to hurt you. Because that was so much easier than admitting what was really going on. You're not your Dad. You never were and you'll never will be. You hear me?'' Her voice was a low whisper as he looked down at her intertwined hands that somehow felt so wrong and so right at the same time.

''We could have made it work. I know we could have.'' He stared down at the ground and shook his head a little.

It came out of his mouth in a soft whisper that was almost hard for Alice to hear as if he was saying it more to himself than to her. Still it was just loud enough to hear him, so she scooted over a little closer to his side and placed her hand on his cheek as she held on tighter to his hand. 

Her touch calmed him down and brought him back to reality. Her eyes were so red that it looked like she had been crying for days now and without her make-up and seeing her so closely he could see how tired she was. The bags under her eyes betrayed that she hadn't slept properly for weeks. 

''I know that now. But I was a child. And I was so... lost.'' She let her hand slip from his face as she spoke, her voice calm but raspy and filled with guilt.

It wasn't that she had doubted him it was even more that she had doubted herself and dragged both him and her son down with her into her grave. She may live, but she hadn't felt alive in over twenty years and she knew for fact that things weren't any different for him.

''Was that what the fight at Homecoming was about? About our son?'' He asked a little confused as the memory suddenly came back to him. He had never thought into it before because he didn't think it was anything more than a very serious fight between the couple, but he had never forgot the voices of that night. 

It all made sense now. The way the voices of Alice and Hal echoed through the empty classroom, thinking nobody was hearing them. The way she had pushed him away from her, telling him that it was her choice to make and Hal telling her that he knew she couldn't do this and the wanted to help her fix her mistake.

Alice nodded sadly. ''It was. I was furious, but he got under my skin. The Coopers arranged for a quiet adoption and sent me to the Sisters of Quite Mercy.'' She confessed, her voice cracking over and over again, but she managed to keep her tears in this time as she felt that it was her time to stay strong now. 

FP suddenly broke their handhold, which made her expression change from hurt to confused. She saw the vein in his forehead popping dangerously, and she could almost hear the sound of his gritted teeth. He clenched his fist into the denim of his jeans as a way to let the anger out in the most calming way he could think of, but it didn't work. 

There was just too much. Without saying anything he stood up and walked over to the trailer door. How could he stay calm with the knowledge that the girl he had been in love with, who got his baby as a teenager got manipulated into giving him up while the man who did this to her was living his best life.

It didn't took long for realize where this was going, but she couldn't let that happen now. She sprung up from the couch and grabbed his hand just in time before he reached the doorknob. ''FP! Don't!'' She desperately pulled him towards herself, but he angrily yanked his arm away and reached for the doorknob again.

He was breathing like crazy and felt his heart rate picking up as if he was slowly falling into a panic attack. All he could picture was Hal sending her off onto some youth center, making her give up her baby-- their baby. His head was red from all the anger that had collected itself there, until she firmly grabbed him by his flannel with her fist and grabbed his hand with her other hand, pulling him to her more urgently now. 

Her look was so piercing that he thought she was looking right through him into his very soul. With his hand still on the doorknob, one of her hands holding his other and her free hand tugging on his flannel as she trembled he knew he had to let go. 

He closed his eyes as he knew he had lost the battle. Maybe it was for the best, because he had no idea what he would do to Hal if he actually got to him. Every bone in his body told him to let Hal pay for what he had done to her, to let him feel just a tiny bit of the pain he had caused her. But that was an impulse he was reacting on, and only Alice's touch could snap him out of his rage.

''Please, don't.'' She whispered quietly as he found the courage to look at her again. She was close to his body now which made it impossible for his heart rate to slow down. Her blue eyes were so calming, so soft that he began to see clearly again instead of being blinded by his own anger.

They stood there for a few minutes just looking at each other and seeing nothing more than a broken human being. In a way it was like looking into a mirror, only that other person had just a different story, but the numb empty feeling was exactly the same. Maybe that was why they had always been so perfect. They understood the other in a way nobody else ever would.

''Who's is Chic? He isn't ours?'' He asked her, breaking the silence between them. She couldn't answer, so he grazed her fingers with his own and intertwined them a second later. Now he got to hold her hand again it was almost impossible to not feel her touch. It was everything he needed now and he knew that she needed the same.

''Betty went looking for Charles but ended up finding Chic. He pretended to be my son to be part of my family.'' She slowly started. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about Chic's confession not even an hour ago and had to swallow away the lump in her throat before speaking again.

''But he knew our son. He knew so much more about Charles. He knew about me and Hal and how I gave him up.'' Her voice got louder and higher as she went on with her story. All she could think of were the cold-blooded eyes of Chic who told her that he was the one that ended the life of her son.

''They lived together, but Chic ended up taking his life in the middle of an argument. Chic killed our baby.'' She cried out as her tears won the battle once again. He let go of her hands and pulled her into his chest as she sobbed.

His hands were clenched in her blouse as he didn't want his anger to take over again. He needed to be rational just for once, just to be there for her and not do something the both of them would regret. Feeling her was the only way to keep him sane, to keep him grounded. 

He quietly shushed her and swayed her back and forth as a try to calm her down. ''If I had— If things were—'' She stumbled while crying, but there didn't follow a full sentence. He kissed the side of her head and pulled her as close as humanly possible.

''It's not your fault, Alice. It's not your fault.'' He whispered and pulled her back once he heard her breath getting regular again.

His hands found their way to his cheeks and carefully cupped her face as he made her look at him. He leant in and placed the briefest of kisses on her lips, barely touching hers, but enough for her to feel it. When she didn't back away he kissed her once more, now fully letting their lips melt into one another's.

''Where are Betty and Jughead?'' He suddenly asked, as he had pulled back from their kiss. 

He remembered her talking about them as she wanted to leave and now he knew what Chic was capable of he feared the worst. Alice's eyes grew wide as she realized that they were the reason she wanted to go back as quickly as possible in the first place.

''They're with Chic.'' She said shocked with the image of her daughter and his son together with someone who was able to kill under any circumstance on her mind. He let go of her face and intertwined one of her hands with his own as the other grabbed his jacket. ''Come on, we don't have a second to lose.''


End file.
